I've been thinking. I've been thinking about human need to belong. Dare I say, the human necessity.
This summer I had the opportunity to be a part of some really awesome things, it's almost surreal. You know you were a part of something incredible when you look back and think, "Did that really happen? Or am I just making things up again?" I tend to live in my head a lot, so I wouldn't be surprised. It happened though, it really happened, there were witnesses. So I'm not crazy. Anyway. Moving on. The summer left me with a lot of tidbits of somewhat deep thoughts. One of them was: people will be more interested in the work you are doing if you allow them to be a part of the process.
Have you ever been escorted through a school hallway as a proud child showed you their artwork hanging on the bulletin board? Or maybe the better question is, have you ever been that child? "Mine is the duck with the purple nose!" or "My donkey is the one that is a rainbow!" were just a couple of the things I said to my parents when I was given such an opportunity. There is nothing better to a seven-year-old than a piece of their handiwork occupying a slice of the much coveted bulletin board real estate in a school hallway. Well, except candy, and big cardboard boxes, and snow days, and blanket forts...I guess a lot of things were better, but it's still a good feeling. I wholeheartedly believe that there is value to be found in putting your small fingerprint on something a lot bigger than yourself.
So belonging...
Everyone wants to be a part of something, whether they are willing to admit it or not. It's why little girls start clubs, it's why old ladies read books together, its why young men go to as many concerts as possible, and it's why old men eat doughnuts together at 5 am.
*Side note: I will never be an old man, but I absolutely cannot wait until I can eat doughnuts at 5 am without any qualms from my circadian rhythm.*
Belonging. We want to feel at home. Yes, home is a place. More importantly, however, home is a matter of the heart, a state of being. I think we rarely talk about it, but this need runs pretty deep. We want to feel at home in our minds, in our hearts, in our bodies, we even want to feel at home in our relationships with others, and in life stages in general. I know that I do, sometimes desperately. We may never say it out loud, but we all want to know that we are at home where we are, with the people that we are with, doing the things we are doing. We want to know that we are wanted.
Feeling out of place is a terrible feeling. Lack of belonging has its way of breaking our hearts (sometimes in the dumbest ways.) No one enjoys being left out of a club, or likes being abandoned in a relationship, or takes great comfort in the fact that they missed out on an inside joke. These things have a way of making us feel like we showed up to a black tie event wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with coffee stains on it. I don't much like the idea of trying to make interesting conversation, with people so classy that my heart is crying, whilst staring at my unmatched socks and trying to hide the fact that I probably haven't brushed my teeth yet.
Goodness, fancy parties can really come out of nowhere sometimes.
The more I look around the more I realize that I exist in a world that is both unrelentingly busy and bored to the point of insanity all at the same time. I live around so many people who are never alone yet almost unbearably lonely. What a paradox we all are. We keep ourselves so busy, yet few things can actually hold our short attention spans. It's all quite odd.
I hate it, but I also like it. I hate that I like it, and I like that I hate it...but I hate liking it. Don't worry, I'm just as confused as you are...because paradox.
The general population of people who have cell phones are almost attached to their devices because they want to know whats going on in the world at all times. The internet has sort of become this place where everyone can come together and be on the same level. It's lovely how the young, the old, the losers, the drama queens, the socially awkward, the overly confident... and so on, can all come together and be a part of something. It's a place where kindred hearts and common interests can build communities in an instant. Just like old men eating doughnuts at 5 am. Your income doesn't matter, because it's free...doughnuts aren't even free. We lose sleep scrolling through the internet, refreshing feeds, liking things, all because we want to be a part. We all want to have say in what color the dress is (or insert the next viral event, because this one will soon be forgotten. That is, until TimeHop starts reminding people a year from now.) And even if we don't care, it's at least nice to have the option. The only problem is, that sense of belonging is so short lived. Also its impossible and frustrating to try to keep up.
So where does that leave us? I really don't know.
I guess all I can really say is, put your fingerprints on things (that is, unless you happen on a crime scene...). Be a part of life with people you care about. And more than trying desperately to belong, allow other people to belong with you. When someone shows up to your impromptu black tie party wearing a fleece onesie and their retainer, go home and change. Put on your fuzziest socks, and bring an extra pair for your poorly dressed friend...Onesies typically have those little grippies on the feet. There's surely to be a long, well buffed hallway somewhere that you can sock slide in.